Have been reading Ephesians for morning devotions and it so happened i received an email about the same topic..

Let no corrup communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.  Eph 4:29

 

I have been doing the opposite.  I have been impatient, whining and complaining about school, workload, etc.

In 'Putting a Face on Grace' Richard Blackaby in his book has a list of tips for us:

Speak words intended to build up, not to bring down.
Focus on their need rather then your own.
Freely forgive.
Swallow you pride and say, "I'm sorry", and "I was wrong."
Live your life with a goal of "no regrets".
Don't keep score of what is fair.
Grace doesn't condemn or give up on people.
Grace emphasizes mercy, not justice.

And it is God's spirit within us who will change us into becoming people who ented grace to others

 

Recently I attended a course and one of the topics presented was about IQ, EQ, and SQ.  Well, I knew about IQ and EQ and now they have SQ.  SQ is short for spiritual quotient.  Aisay man, they are saying something which I knew all along.  In every human being, there is a spot which only God can fill and therefore, man must acknowledge his creator and there must be a fear of God in his life for him to be fulfilled.  So, no matter how smart he is, how well-adjusted emotionally, he needs God to be complete.  Now, we are supposed to tell that to our students.

The Bible says in the image of God we were created, so we naturally have this God-spot in our life. So, if a man has high IQ abd EQ but does not have SQ, he would be empty even though he is the most successful guy around.  Look at all the famous actresses who have billions, but with no SQ, their lives go haywire.  Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, ....lately, Sufiah....the list continues.

It's been exactly a year since i last updated this blog.  Just in time for another miracle story.  Have you ever felt heavy-hearted before you do something or go somewhere?  Like something bad was going to happen and yet, you are not sure what it is.  Well, I had that feeling a few weeks ago.  My friend, Jean and I decided to go for a girls' day out.  It was the first time i was driving to ipoh.  We chatted excitedly as I pulled up to the touch-and-go booth.  then, i suddenly remembered i did not have my card. my friend gave me hers and I realised my car was too far away. so, i reversed and tried to touch but failed.  then, i opened my door to touch the card. I drove off, feeling heavy-hearted.  Ten minutes on the highway and suddenly, to my horror, I realised I had dropped my handbag when I opened the door to touch my card... What shall I do?  What shall I do? I drove fast, thinking of going back to the place I had dropped it..The next turning was another 5 minutes away. My friend suggested to pull over and give a call to the toll station at the emergency phone.As I looked at the rear mirror, I signalled left to pull over, my mind racing back and forth..then, an Avanza came abreast my car and two guys looked at me inquisitively...I immediately nodded, yes, yes,....i whispered.  We pulled over and a guy came down to ask me whether I was Miss ...?  Yes, yes, I said, knowing that they had found my handbag...the other guy got down and gave me my handbag, all intact..I felt like hugging and kissing them....instead I stood like a fool and thanked them without asking how they knew it was me...and what were their names....

In less than 5 minutes of agony on the highway, God had give me back my handbag..Jean and I pondered...what were the possibilities of me getting my bag back in one piece?  How did the guy know I was on the way to Ipoh and not KL?  There were no cars when I left the counter...Were they looking for me on the highway?  

Well, I just want to thank my angels on the highway for both of you save me the agony of losing my handphone, my cards, etc... and I still could continue my journey to Ipoh without any more mishap.....thanks and praise be to God.

It's been a year since the terrible nightmare, but i am still struggling to forgive and forget.  I think i have more or less forgiven them but once in a while, a word, a conversation, a place and i would be transported back to that hurtful dark place.  Have i really forgiven then?  I read somewhere that if I have not forgotten, then i have not forgiven.  It is so difficult to repair a relationship when there is no more trust.  I do not trust her anymore and if there's no trust, i somehow cannot go back to where we were.  I must simply move on and forget about this relationship.  I can understand why and how the misunderstanding started.....people were greedy for attention, some acted out of jealousness and foolishness...The worst thing is when you see that she had not learnt her lesson and is still doing the same hurtful things to others...how i could i be her friend again?  I am now just an acquaintance...perhaps it is best to let it stay that way....i am a rock, i am an island....

To celebrate Aug 31, we went to a friend's house for lunch and it was also her birthday.  We each cooked something so that we could lessen the burden of cooking. 

Although i was not feeling that great, hanging out with friends sometimes help me be strong again.  Sometimes, you just need to look into your friends' eyes to see how much you are valued and how much you mean to each other. When you isolate yourself and your own problems, there is a tendency of over-analysing, feeling sorry and getting into deep depression.

Cos when i am with this bunch of people, we can be ourselves.  I know I am not being judged by how much i have contributed, or what i have achieved, but i am just me, warts, faults and all. And my opinion mattered....and i could say what i was going through without being judged...

we make an effort to meet even tho we are each so busy with our own lives because we need the connection, and these are the healing times..so that we can go back to our own world and work....bruised but ready to move on again.

So, here's a toast to my friends..and to all people who need people

my ex-student e-mailed me today.  He still remembered that i called him the thorn in my flesh..  He was such a talented boy in the class, way ahead of all the teaches, that's what caused him all the trouble, skipping classes, playing truant, etc but he was really brilliant in my writing class, could write such beautiful poems,  he had a voice and no one wanted to hear what he wanted to say ...and i had been his class teacher.  talked and talked to him but in the end, he chose the behaviour, he had to face the consequences...always saw the potential in him...a malay boy, from a small rural area, but could write lovely poems in English...

He wrote that he was sorry for the 7 year silence and that things had turned out really bad for him, did not manage to graduate due to an accident, and then, fumbled at a job ...but i thot those things are part and parcel of life...told him not to feel sorry for himself, pick up the pieces and carry on with his life...

so, here's to you Megat Farid, good luck in your new business venture with your father, and remember that, whatever you do, do not snuff out that beautiful voice that you have in your head and keep on writing.... 

finally shifted things into renovated house. found out too late that my former furniture just too huge for present house. sigh

exactly a year ago, a group of people hurt me badly because they listened to someone very influential.  So, they decided to group together and gang up against me.  They met to discuss me over a few nights and avoided me during church.  They made me feel unwelcome in cell meetings..i could not understand and at that time i was at an all-time low in my spiritual life.  i went to those meetings thinking that i would be loved and comforted, instead i was rejected. i didn't know what was going on but i certainly felt the coldness and hatred....and it all blew over when someone finally told me and i apologised, thinking that i had unintentionally hurt someone.. but i didn't know what i shared in confidence, my struggles and hurts would be told to everyone, including my deepest darkest secrets....

well, i have been struggling with the forgetting part. of course, i have forgiven them..or have i?  i can't seem to bring myself back on the level that we were.   the influential one eventually left the church due to the great disunity and unhappiness that they had caused.  but everytime we meet, i cannot bring myself to be my cheery self with them because i still remember the hurt. we still talk but nothing deep anymore because of what had been said and the hypocrisy of it all.  never thot i would see this in a church but we are humans after all, sinful and in need of forgiveness.  as long as we do not see our faults and ask for God's forgiveness, the vicious cycle continues..

and i still see the same gossiping going on and i do not want to be a part of their world where they would say something and would not admit it if they are exposed...hubby thinks it is better i stay away...but it is so lonely when hubby is not around.

been thinking about leaving the church... and moving on...

Hair-pulling Meetings

This is the time of the year when we usually have meetings to discuss the speech day and co-curricullum day, etc. I dislike meetings because they take such a long time to finish. The chairperson, which is usually the principal takes such a long time to get to the point. On her good mood days, she could go on and on in her welcoming speech. Some of us in the morning session would miss our lunch and ended up with gastritis. Many meetings begin from 12.40 to 4.00pm and this is just to mention the tugas-tugas for each team. The afternoon sesssion teachers happily yak away the hours as they do not have to go to classes. In the meantime, the students are playing and vandalising the whole place, with or without the prefects.
I hate the fact that we are captive audience to whatever the speaker wants to say. All 80 of us are cooped up in a small room with two tiny rickety air-conditioners.
In a year, head panel teachers have to attend at least 4 curriculum meetings, another 4 with their own panel, 5 more for sports, speech day, etc. There are also taklimat - briefings to attend but they usually last for hours. When do we get to mark books, prepare lessons,etc. ? Ultimately, students are on the losing end. Any teachers suffering from these hair-pulling sessions?



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This was written last year. I now have a new boss and what a difference he makes. Everyone is limited to only five minutes and it must be to the point. Meetings are finished by 2pm or so. Phew, what a relief. No more frustrating days and migraines after the meeting. Yet, the point is things still get done even tho the meeting is so short. Just goes to show how inefficient one can be. We have to attend two meetings per week on average depending on whatever projects are going on. A briefing could last very long. I feel that writing a memo would do as everyone is so experienced and they know their job well, just a reminder. There's no need to read out the duties expected for each and everyone.

Christians who have been to a camp and come home can vouch that they are on fire for God once more.  There's something dynamic about being in a camp with other Christians and great speakers as well.  But the real deal is when you come home and face the mundane daily living.  All the things that you promised to upkeep will only last for a while and then, you are back to square one.  This article really helped me to see my walk with God in a new perspective.  Read on....

 

Breathe in…breathe out…You do it 12-14 times a minute without thinking.

At rest, your lungs take in six liters of air per minute. When you're working hard, you can take in more than 100.

Breathing is a miracle we don't stop to think about very much. It's involuntary; we just do it.

In the same amazing way God created us with the capacity to breathe to sustain our natural lives, He has given us as Christians a way to "breathe spiritually" for our spiritual well-being.

"Spiritual breathing, like physical breathing," said Dr. Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade for Christ, "is a process of exhaling the impure and inhaling the pure, an exercise in faith that enables you to experience God's love and forgiveness and walk in the Spirit as a way of life."

"But the average Christian does not understand this concept of spiritual breathing as an exercise of faith and, as a result, lives on a spiritual roller coaster. He/she goes from one emotional experience to another living most of his life as a worldly Christian, controlling his/her own life--frustrated and fruitless."¹

Betty Lau, now a campus ministry leader, once felt that way. "I'd get a fresh start in my Christian life, then something would happen, and boom, I'd lose it." She recalls coming home college for a break, feeling good spiritually, only to have a blowout with her sister. "There were words, slamming doors, and my sister walked out. Afterwards, I felt like though being filled with the Holy Spirit sounded good in theory, it just didn't work." Later she would discover the active daily discipline of spiritual breathing--and the freedom that discipline would bring.

Spiritual Breathing Defined

Physical breathing provides the body with a constant supply of oxygen, which is necessary for energy production. It also releases the byproduct of the process--carbon dioxide, a gas that is lethal in large quantities.

Spiritual breathing is like physical breathing in that:

1. You "exhale" by confessing your sins immediately to God and claiming His forgiveness
2. You "inhale" by asking the Holy Spirit to control and empower you and to keep you from returning to sin.

Usually, we don't think about our physical breathing. But spiritual breathing is something that requires conscious action--a readiness to "exhale" or confess our sin and to "inhale" or trust God to fill us with His Holy Spirit.

Amy Aker, mother of three boys under age six, has found that spiritual breathing makes a difference in her parenting. "If I'm not disciplining my children correctly--if I yell or use manipulation--once I realize that I've done it, I will calmly tell them, ‘Why don't you go to your room for a little while. I'll be right there.' Then, I'll go to my room for a few quiet minutes and God will reveal to me the heart of my sin, whether it's impatience or just wanting to impose my will on others. I'll confess it to Him, and then I ask the Holy Spirit to give me the power to change, because without His help, I can't do it. Then I'm ready to confess my wrong actions to my kids and have a fresh start."

Don't Wait to Exhale

It's been said that one measure of Christian maturity is the shortness of time between when we sin to the time we confess it. If we keep short accounts with God, our "old sin nature" can be kept on a short leash. We can confess our sin as soon as we entertain a sinful thought and before we speak an ugly word or act on evil desires.

"Spiritual exhaling" is agreeing with God about our sin, whether in thought or deed, and thanking Him for His forgiveness and expressing a willingness to change our attitude and actions.

"The more immediately sin is confessed and forsaken, the more sensitive and tender the heart remains," says a pamphlet on the subject by Life Action Ministries. "Spiritual breathing is an integral part of maintaining personal purity… The practice of breathing spiritually aids in developing a God-consciousness, which in turn serves to keep the revived heart spiritually focused and less susceptible to continual iniquity."²

This has been Amy Aker's experience. "Confessing my sin is the key to a peaceful life. If I don't readily confess, it pulls me down and eats me up. As a mom, I don't always have time for an extended quiet time or Bible reading. Spiritual breathing helps me to stick close to God, to get right with Him moment by moment."

"Breathing in" the Holy Spirit

To inhale spiritually is to receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit by faith. How do you do that?

When you receive Jesus Christ as your leader and forgiver, the Holy Spirit immediately enters your life and He never leaves (John 1:12; Colossians 2:9,10; John 14:16,17).

The Holy Spirit lives in you so that you can:

• Demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22,23) and become more like Christ (Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:18)
  
• Experience a meaningful prayer life and study of God's Word
  
• Experience power in witnessing (Acts 1:8)
  
• Be prepared for spiritual battle against the world, the flesh and the devil (1 John 2:15-17; Galatians 5:16,17; 1 Peter 5:7-9; Ephesians 6:10-13).
  
• Experience power to resist temptation and sin (1 Corinthians 10:13; Philippians 4:13; Ephesians 1:19-23; 2 Timothy 1:7; Romans 6:1-16).³

Though all born-again Christians are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, not all are filled with the Holy Spirit. Not all are experiencing what He has to offer.

To be filled (empowered and controlled) by the Holy Spirit, we must, in faith, acknowledge our dependence on Him and "hand Him the reins" of our life.

We are commanded in Ephesians 5:18 to "Keep on being filled with the Holy Spirit."

Betty Lau has been learning what that means since she started practicing spiritual breathing 10 years ago. "It is a continuous, conscious choice I make to walk in the Holy Spirit's power. Repentance isn't a one time thing; it's giving my life over to God and asking Him to direct my decisions on a moment-by-moment basis."

The result? "My Christian life is no longer about self-effort and defeat," says Betty. "It's about allowing the Holy Spirit to permeate every area of my life. Though spiritual breathing is a conscious thing, the more I choose to do it, the more it becomes second nature."

Are you ready to ask the Holy Spirit to direct your life? Why not pray this simple prayer right now and by faith invite God to fill you with His Spirit:

Dear Father, I need you. I acknowledge that I have sinned against you by directing my own life. I thank you that You have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.

 

 

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